"OH Whiskers!!! Can't you see this is a rescue mission?!?!"

So my young adult years are quickly coming to a close and lately I've found myself reliving my dating years.  The unfortunate thing about looking back on the past is that you realize what an idiot you were.   As I was thinking about all of my friends and all the silly things, there was this particular group of people that I kept thinking about.  This particular group infuriated me to the point of loosing my mind and as I was thinking about it (keep in mind this is like 5 years later sitting on my bed) I kept getting like PTSD feeling about how much I wanted to shake them at the time.  And now being wiser and older and much more mature Im going to talk about them on the internet behind there backs.  See what I did there?

This group of people would just repeatedly say things that would push me over the edge and first im going to address the male contingent of this group because if i wanted to talk about what girls said I might have to write a book and ain't nobody got time for that.  This group of guys were all very similar and I felt that there was this cycle they would go through of talking to some girl and then she would date some else and then all of a sudden all we could talk about is how "nice guys finish last" "I hate the friend zone" "gee I wish girls didn't like assholes because then I would be happy" "I would be happy if I had a girlfriend"  are you picking up what Im saying here.  So lets just delve into this, shall we?  So what Im seeing here is that you obviously classify yourself as a "nice guy".  Which if following this logic there are two types of men in this world; nice guys and assholes.  Technically I suppose your not wrong, you might be oversimplifying a little but lets just go with it.  So what are the characteristics that separate the "nice guys" from everyone else?  There are a few things that I would say generally characterize nice guys but I think that its their thought process that really sets them appart and this is how it goes.  They are nice to a girl in a generally friendly way, they become passive about their own opinions if they are in disagreement with this girl, they life this girl up into goddess like status, they then get this sense of entitlement like "these girls owe me because i was nice to them", they then when that doesn't work they try to buy love and then after that they pawn all responsibility for the situation onto that bitch girl and her asshole boyfriend.  

First off, let me explain something to you being passive is not the same thing as being nice just like being confident or even cocky is not the same thing as being an asshole.  At some point in your life you are going to be required to stand up for an opinion or something you believe in and, coming from myself, who is in a long term committed relationship, am telling you that about 75% of the time that person you're standing up to is your significant other.  When you begin a life with someone the first thing you realize that you are literally living with a stranger.  You don't do laundry the same, you don't cook your food the same way,  you don't clean the same way and you don't even breath the same way. And let me tell you, its amazing.  Learning how to fight with someone is one of the most hysterical and ridiculous and fantastic things you will ever do.  One of the most reassuring things that I have in this world is that I know that when I push, he'll push right back at me.  I know that if he can fight with me, he'll fight along side of me even more.  This all started for us right from the get go when we were first dating.  He wasn't afraid to disagree with me and i sure as hell was not afraid to tell him exactly how it was.  agreeing with everything that comes out of someone's mouth is not doing you any favors,  all your doing is building this fake sense of assurance that you have no differences and thats just boring. 

On the tails of that comes point number 2.  Once you as a "nice guy" have established yourself as a complete push over you quickly follow that up with lifting this girl up onto a pedestal.  really? really? She's not perfect she's a human being.  She deserves your opinions, she deserves your support.  Your not an empty vessel put on this earth to bring glory to your girlfriend.  stop. Let me tell you how quickly that mirage comes crashing down.  The moment your perfect sweet butterfly has hershey squirted all over the bathroom because she's pregnant with your first child.  Stop the lies now.  Neither of you are perfect.    

After all this niceness unfortunately comes the impending rejection and its like every single time they were blindsided by the fact that she had some sort of opinion and that, surprise, it was negative.  Its like they went through all this work to lift her above human status that they forgot that she's ALOUD to not like you.  She's aloud to not want to date you.  Thats perfectly normal!  What YOU'RE not aloud to do is feel entitled like "Im nice therefor you should date me." Im sorry your supposed to be kind to people thats like a general rule.....I think its called the golden one actually.  You don't get some sort of award for doing something your supposed to do anyway.  You're not supposed to be nice to people just to get them to like you, first off bad strategy, second of all thats not really that nice.  You either want to date her or you don't want to date her so when you act like "just her friend"  your going to go right with all her other friends in the "friend zone" because your behavior directly said you wanted to be there.  I heard  this guy on youtube say once that "nice guys think they get put in the friend zone solely for being nice, and thats not true.  Friends get put in the friend zone for being very friendly".  AND ITS SO TRUE! It roles right back into the assertive thing being nice is awesome we should all be kind to everyone! but if you don't assert yourself and your desires your just that....nice. 

So once a guys realized that he's effed up and all his efforts to nice the pants right off this girl have failed, he slips into this very barbaric prehistoric need to buy her affections.  You buy her flowers and gifts and food and your all like "why doesn't she like me now?!?!" Im sorry, this is not some sort of transaction.  You don't just get to walk up to the counter of life and say "hey, I'm here to cash in my cordial coupons for some sex and romance please" Thats not how it works.

So then this girl starts dating some guy because he's an asshole and she just couldn't handle someone being nice to her.  This. makes. no. sense.  You my dear sweet angle face,  are coping out.  You are giving the responsibility's of your feelings to someone else and your coming off as really insecure.  "I feel what she makes me feel" mentality is not sexy.  Its sad, alright, be a man.  Stop using this whole nice guy thing as a crutch and get out there.  So I guess in conclusion internet friends,  a nice guy is a confident man who can appreciate being a kind person but understands that not everyone is going to like him and he's ok with that.  Knowledge for your faces.  boom.